How to Send and Receive Mail in Venezuela: Stab Your Eyes Out with a Fork!

Below is a step by step guide to sending and receiving mail in Venezuela. Enjoy!

Sending mail from Venezuela:
1. Pack all items in a cardboard box, with pieces of tinder between each item. I like to use dry grass and old newspaper.
2. Close the box, and seal with tape.
3. Take the box into a public area, and empty a few bottles of kerosene over it. Drop a match, and laugh hysterically. Don’t worry, everyone will understand.
4. Go home and drink. Take solace in the fact you did the only thing you could. This was the most sane option on the table.

Receiving Mail in Venezuela
1. Abandon all hope. You are so fucked.

Note: this is just based on my own, repeatedly shit experiences with the Venezuelan postal system. Other people I know have had better luck. Now, I’m going to go find a fork.

Here is a nice photo to remind you of why Venezuela is a great country, and get this post a few more hits.